ElegantWings was my first friend on here, and still is on my list ^_^ cos shes the bestest evar. AND she just came home from school today, and we;ll be going to get foodstuffs as soon as im done with babysitting. yay!

this is what my anatomy lab professor is balbbing bout so yeah. you get a topic.
have been so busy and/or tired lately that i;ve hardly been writing/sleeping/talking to casey lately. fun stuff. but sali is home and ive spent the las tthree days bovvering her, so w00t, love. keyboards are awfully loud in a room thats quiet other than your teacher's voice. dont care. she doesnt pay attention anyway. might slip out as soon as she finishes the lesson again this week, go make dinner, etc. which rmeinds me. i didnt do that the other night. yeahhh thats not good. sigh. anyways. food.... i had food today. and for some reason i still feel hungry. am probably thirsty, not hungry, but whatever.
hurt my leg somehow. again. apparently im made like a 70 year old lady. oh well. im a hot 70 year old haha.
went to bible study for the first time in months on friday. ahd a really good time. esp compared to how my night would have most likely been had i gone ot babysit. much as i love the kids and DJ, the kids are brats, and being near sara right now is just plain uncomfortable.
uh og. worksheet time everybody/. back later ^+^

I have never personally done this, but really, I serve a lot of people who do. And they seem sometimes like the saddest, most lonely people that could possible exist. However, i just work at a diner. And  i have a bit of a theory about most of the people who come into said diner. They are determined to be miserable. They do not want to be in public. They are usually old and don't have the ability or time or patience to cook on their own, let alone wait for food to be made for them. They are determined to find someting wrong with the service. However, there are a few exceptions, as with any theory of mine. There's one very nice man, and older guy, we all just call him Doc. Not married, as far as i can tell. He always gets the special, always gets just a romaine salad with tomatoes and onions and croutons, ceasar dressing, a glass of water, and something stir-fry-esque, whichever happens to be on the menu that night. He's a regualr most monday and tuesday nights. He is extremely pleasant. He talks to other customers who look lonely at the counter, talks to all the girls, and is a total sweetheart. It of course doesnt hurt that he usually leaves quite a good tip, and doesnt DEMAND food, or timeliness, he just shows appreciation for it. He's also understanding when we are suddenly baraged with takeout orders and whatnot. He is, really, the perfect single customer. However, many other customers are far less enjoyable. Most likely because they are eating at a diner, alone, on a Monday. They don't want to be the only ones having a bad day. They want to make you jsut as miserable as they are. So they make silly requests, and then change their minds. Run you back and forth from their table (because they couldnt be bothered to sit at the counter. they have personal space issues. they want to sit in a booth) and then order things that don't actually exist. Like a turkey reuben with no cheese or dressing (which does exist, btw. its called a dry open face. but people dont listen to that. it would be too easy). They always ponder desert. But hardly ever order it, and usually leave about 55 cents on the table, in their coleslaw dish. These people, however, should not be treated like shit. That would only make them mreo unhappy. And they should not be ignored for as long as possible before ordering, which so many waitresses are liekyl to do (i watch this happen all the time and its a damn shame). The best thing you can do to get back at them is smile. Be polite. Sweet them to DEATH. I am determined when i work on counter, or really whenever i have miserable people, to irritate them to the ends of he earth by not getting pissed off right back at them. It's extremely entertaining as well.
and of course then there are the single older men, or even the ones that are married, just getting out of the house, that leave a better tip depending on how low cut your shirt is. haha. they're the best. flirting pointlessly with old men is fun. especially latenight when they're slightly drunk ^_^
i think i've talked everyone to death now. tehe

so, day was... interesting.
woke up when my mom was leaving for work. she cou;dnt just let us sleep, even though we were up til 4 watching buffy and torchwood. typical. and then we went to the doctor, who invaded my personal space, ppoked where it hurt, and told me that i need an ultrasound, becase my ovarian cyst (which is new, woohoo) may or may not be too large to be ignored, or the right type that will go away on its own, blah blah blah. woo. so i made that appointment. and then one for the dentist, and one for my car. which, you know theres a problem when you say i have a "insert car manufacturer here" that i need to bring in for service. its this weird thing with the wiring, and they go "ma'am, is that a "insert specific make and model that matches the car you have perfectly here"?" oh, you have got to be firgging kidding me. but hey, they know what the problem is then, right? *rolls eyes*
then we went on our maiden adventure. sali's first trip to south street. the goal was to get her eyebrow pierced, but they wouldnt take her ID in the one place we found, so we went to body graphics, who said we had to come back tomorrow morning. so thats the plan. im currently contemplating getting either and industrial or a cartilage piercing, instead of my tattoo. i really do want said tattoo, but i feel weird getting it without casey here. its like im doing it behind his back. the other part of me kind of wants to surprise him with something when i see him next, like "look its so cool! its new! i did it woo!" but then if he doesnt like it.. eh. i think ill wait until i move out of my parents house either way.
which, btw,. would be so much friggin easier if rent wasnt so damned expensive everywhere. they want 1000 dollars for crappy little 12x12 rooms with bathrooms in the corner. they're free at county, why would i pay that much for one? who is supposed to be able to afford these?
single people that would live alone in a studio den or whatever would NOT be able to afford them. therefore, they sit empty. but whatever. not my problem. i will find somewhere to live, and it will not support retarded meanie businesspeople.
...maybe meesh will let me sleep on her floor?
hmmmm....
dont know yet. must think more. just in general. wanted to be out by my sister's nirthday, but with money the way it is, that doesnt seem like its going to happen now. not unless a miracle occures. and i feel absolutely terrible for leaving mommy and daddy with the kittten. they felt like they had to and they say they dont mind, but he really is a handful sometimes. and i dont want to overstep my bounds in that house anymore than i already have.
btw. still mad at her about new years morning. just for the record. she shouldnt have looked at me like that. even if menopause is makeing her a crazy bitch, that is so not cool.
in other news, i miss casey. and i miss not having to worry about wether im going to be fertility challenged. or whatever the politically correct term for it is now. and im really gonna hate when school starts up again, cos thats going to leave me even less time ti find somewhere to live, you know?
le sigh. i dont want to be a grown up anymore. being a grownup sucks. i vote i go back to being 14 and naive and silly. who's with me?

i've furnished the majority of my apartment so far out of other people's trash kerbs. i got a table from teppie and jimmy's house that they had out for the bin, a microwave that we salvaged when casey's mom threw it out there because she had gottena new one for christmas, my bedframe is trashpicked, and my furniture might be too. i find all sorts of stuff thats completely usable in oehter people's trash. but, did you know that unless theres a sign that says you can have it if you can haul it or soething of that sort, its illegal to touch other people's trash? illegal! its their provate property until it hits that truck, unless they say otherwise... and apparently putting it out on the kerb isnt always saying otherwise. but hey, whatever. ooh, maybe i can find a fridge..

well, it all depends on which organ. i think you can donate part of your liver, and id be more than willing to do that,. since i dont plan on abusng mine too much in the future. or my spleen or a kidney, perhaps. i mean, if i got money for donating blood thatd be cool, too. nothing id need, oviously, but extraneous organs should be donated anyway, regardless of cash needs. and those that are necessary should be put to hgood use *SHAMELESS PLUG- BE AN ORGAN DONOR!* to help others through transplants or even just scientific research.
but yeah. this is what i think :P

so yeah. havent updated lately because even though i have no life, the life i have is busy busy busy. like, ridiculously busy. soooo yeah. im tired. and caseesy comes home today but i probably wont see him until tomorrow, since i have work from 11 til 11. woo! aaaaand i smell like fried food and coleslaw. and i should shower, but i dont have the engergy.
so i think the heater in by bed broke. it was cold the night before last, and i looked at the cord and itd gotten knocked out a bit by a falling photo, so i plugged it back in and curled up. i woke up still cold and with a sore throat from the cold, and then last night it was still freeezing, so i slept in the spare bedroom. weird, but my back feels really good now for some reason. i lke normal matresses better, methinks. for everything ^_^ but yeah, anyways. everyone should let me know what they want for christmas, because i feel like im already wayyy putting things off. my list includes: casey and sali, tina, mommy and daddy dawson, my parents i suppose, lou, jimmy, steph, possibly tim. woo. im thinking i should do one practical gift and one silly one for just about everyone, except for the parents. and maybe jimmy and steph, cos they hae enough crap in their space.
so yeah. im gonna go back to being stupid and watching charmed instead of getting ready for class. love and cheese and whatnot ^_^
<3 Me

That seems to be the heading of my journal entries more often than not, doesnt it? I should probably come up with a better title, but I'm not sure that i need to, since, well, I don't really care, do you? haha
Anyways, I got a n awful lot done this past weekend/this morning. That included:
Hanging out with Casey and Sali
Begging Casey to  let me be a mommy
Staying at Casey's Friday night (W00t)
Sex
More sex
Working all day Saturday
Finishing Mommy Falcone's scarf
Giving Sali said scarf to give to Mommy
Starting Sali's scarf, which is now halfway done
Returning my dad's movies
Making Casey watch Arthur and the Invisibles
Playing SceneIT with my parents and Casey, and losing awfully
Sex
Church on Sunday
Getting groceries for Friday
Setting up for Jeffrey's party
Partying with Dan and Casey and Kids at Jeffrey's party
Wishing I had kids/was a mommy/could be a mommy
Begging Casey to make me a mommy
Going to work (regretably) at the Diner
Meeting Jenn's son, Angelo, who is 3 months old and friggin adorable
Telling Casey again that I should TOTALLY be a mommy.
Making over 70 dollars in 6 hours. Heck yes.
Having an enormously bad leg cramp at 2.30 AM
Finishing my English Essay
Calling the Vet to schedule a decalw for Dagda
Doing laundry so that I could get dressed this morning
Going to school
Failing a math quiz
Finishing 4 Soduko puzzles
Handing in English paper
Confusing my English teacher with actual intelligence
Starting statistics project with Megan
Learned to play Fluxx with Mia
Sat here doing all this during Computers.


Oh, what a productive life hahaha

<3333 More later. Now must be bored doing something equally unimportant while i wait to be let out, so that i can get a longsleeve white shirt at Wal-Mart on my way to the diner, as well as some lunch at Wawa. Love!!!!

<3 ME

everybody's coming home tonight!!! i;m so exctied!

so right now the plans stand thus:
get out of this stupid boring computer class (hooray!)
go home and grab my overnight stuff, dont forget pills, pee, get other knitting needle (cos it never made it past the couch, apparently)
get back in the car and go to the mall to await the arrival of casey and sali from the bus, meet up with lou.
drop casey's shit off, go to sali's
drop sali's shit off and give mommy her scarf and hat, go to diner.
eat amazing marlton diner food in copious amounts, screw my diet.
go back to caseys for movie watchin and "whatnot"
STAY THERE OVERNIGHT screw my parents.
wake up cuddling with him *YAY*

 

tonight will be sooo awesomeeee^_^

1. MORDRED
Depending on who you ask, Mordred is the son of A. King Arthur and his half-sister, Morgan le Fay, or the bastard son of King Arthur and just about anyone. He is the man who kills King Arthur in Battle. (This is, of course, all in Arthurian legend. ^_^) They didn't pick such a good looking guy for him in Merlin, but he was one of the characters that you loved to hate, but also felt bad for. He was only doingw what his mother and Queen Maab told him to. He was a spoilt brat though. Regardless, he has a wicked cool name ^_^

2.MORGAN LE FAY
Also depending on which tales of Arthurian legend you read. Morgan le Fay was the daughter of the Duke or Cornwall. Her father was killed by arthurs father, King Uther Pndragon, who merlin granted a glamour so that he could sleep with Lady Igraine, Cornwall's wife. She became pregnant with the king's son, Arthur. This is where it gets hazy. Some say that Igraine was taken away by the king, and morgan and her sister morgause were raised by their nanny, who was actually a fay. She later became the Morrigun. Other legend says that she later seduced her half borther in order to give birth to the future king, Mordred, who later killed Arthur in battle. We'll go with another picture of her from Merlin, although in the book "I am Morgan le Fay," she's depicted as much prettier. (HIGHLY recommend the book, btw.) oh, and she's played in MErlin by Helena Bonham Carter. LOVE!
(this is the pic where she's got a glamour on to seduce Arthur, btw. she has a weird eye and funky teeth usually)

3. QUEEN MAAB (MAB, MABB)
Queen Mabb is the queen of the old religion, where people worshippedthe Fay. she raised merlin for a bit, taught him what he needed to know, and may or may not have tried to kill him. again, it depends on the legend you're following. she aso may or may not have used Morgan (giving her the glamour, etc) to seduce Arthur later in his life and secure the throne for Mordred. Oh, the web of people and liiiies... anyways.
here's her ^_^


4. MERLIN
Alright so this is the alst of my kick, i swear! Merlin learned all he knew from Mab, who raised him in the owrld of the fay after his mother died giving birth and she stole him from his grandmother. She created him to be a great wizard who would restore the old ways, worship of the fay and all that. He may or may not have : given uther pendragon the glamour he used to seduce lady igraine,  plotted against mab and morgan le fay, helped arthur secure his throne, run away with is childhood sweetheart to escape mab, who was trying to destroy him since he wouldnt help her, and killed mab. oh, and he's played by the guy who, while i cant remember his name, played the male lead in Jurassic Park, which is why i giggled like, halfway through Merlin.
This is the only one i could fin. blahh

5. McDreamy (Grey's Antomy)
I dont know much about him, this is mostly for sali. Here, have some more fangirl pic posting..




an finally.. this one was labeled "McDreamy and his McBabies".., AWWWWWW!



peace, love,, God Bless!
<3 Marissa

im better now. i think. anyways.
so, i dont have woodstock today. im quitting shortly after christmas, ill find another diner to work at or something. just, no more retail. its so irritating.
anyways.
ummmm
not much to day today
except that im tired. and i feel bad for dan, cos hes even more tired. and yeah. i dunno.
life is okay :)
 

love and cheese, everyone.
~Me

To Do List for today (Wenesday)

1. Call the vet and schedule to have Dagda declawed. (hope that i can afford it).
2. Go to the bank and deposit some moneys.
3. Get kitty litter, drop off at Jim's.
4. Math HW.
5. Clean room.
6. Study for math/english.
7. Find my friggin ID (may go along with cleaning room).
8. Work on Mommy Falcone's scarf ^_^.
9. Get Christmas lights for Jeff for his Birthday.
10. Get a new headlight bought and installed in the car, before I get pulled over.
11. Do the M list that Sali gave me so I can try to calm down.
12. Talk to Baby.

and then i get to pass out and figure out what i have to get done tomorrow.
woot!
oh. making mad moneys at the diner ^_^ is happy.

Okay, so this thing got passed on from sali.
Today's post is brought to you by ...
THE LETTER D


So, i pick  fictional characters whose names start with the letter given to me by a friend. If you want to do it too, then send me a message or comment, and i'll give you a new letter ^_^

1. DRACO MALFOY (Harry Potter books, movies)
Okay, he;s just pure sex and win. Although the real Draco may not have looked like Tom Felton in Rowling's mind, oh dear, did the casting director choose wisely. Any girl who was smart enough to get tired of Harry's emo good boy gryffindor pity parties and didnt get trapped up by ron or the twins (and anyone who has read nearly as much restrictedsection.org fanfiction as sali and i have) was reasonable to tall completely in love with draco. I would be a slytherin before a gryffindor any day ^_^


2. Dorothy Gale (the Wizard of Oz)

 Dorothy may not have been in Kansas anymore, but the technicolor was definitely an improvement. Although i like her less in Wicked (although she is just an unsuspecting, naive girlie), she's quite cool. Judy Garland, btw, is amazing. just in case you didnt know.

3. DORA (questionable Content)
 

So, Dora, from QC (www.questionablecontent.net plug plug plug... jeph should pay me )... is the awesomest girl ever. she owns and manages Coffee of Doom, is dating marten, and has a kitty who may or may not be a murderer or associated with a "family"... oh, and she used to idolize / fantasize about marten's mom... who is a bondage sex icon....yea, she's pretty much amazing... and may i mention sexy as hellll????

4. Ddaniel Osbourne (OZ) (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
\So, he;s the coolest character, creature, and actor (seth green = love) to have passed through buffy's life, (Other than spike). Oz, whosename is really Daniel Osbourne, was a werewolf, dated willow before she was a lesbian (which is a total win, cos oh my god, alyson hannigan *dies*) and yeah... love!

 5. DRUSILLA (Angel the Series)
Sired by Angelus, Dru was a seer as a mortal who started to go completely bonkers, and when Angel changed her, went totally nuts. She hears things, talks to stars, dances instead of walks, shes really, really cool. Oh,and she is a very good mommy to her dollies, and long as theyre not bad, bad girls. Plus, she sired William, who, as we know, is the sexiest vampire EVER to walk ever ever. ever. so yeah. oh, and she calls Angelus Daddy, which is somehow sexy to those involved, which i dont understand, but it makes jealous!Will, and therefore is totally worth it. I would take her place ANY time...

others i thought of but didn;t want to googlepic coz its getting late...
DOBBY (HP)
DARLA (ATS)
DAVEY JONES (POTC)
DAMIEN (The Omen)
DUDLEY DURSLEY (and family) (HP)
D.G. (Tin Man)
 

going to go read fanfictions now. lov and peace!
<3 me

Sunday 5-11
Monday 5-11
Tuesday 4-11
thats all for now. will post rest of details about how week has been going, since i haven;t had time for the last few days to do so, when i get home this evening. love ^_^
<3 Me

Hey people! Now reporting from the comfort of my cozy black chair.. IN MA ROOM, COS I HAS A COMPUTARRRR yay. anyways.
          I'm supposed to be working on my psychology summary of a journal paper thingey, but since i dont have much motivation to do so, here i sit. worked at the diner again last night, and figured out where i can get aprons and vests without having to order them online. they werent all that expensive from the one place i found, but still, i'd rather not pay shipping and have to wait 3-5 business days for my apron. if i can have one tonight when i go back, it'll be so much easier. i cant stand carrying papers around and not being able to keep track of them. and the lady they put me with last night.. her name's sharon.. she gets along with the more obnoxious waitstaff. and she never stops moving. she kept disappearing on me. hopefully tonight i can work with elaine again. she actually lets me do everything. sharon was following me around with a jack like i was gonna go stumbling over and kill people with plates. gyah. and thats why im in another day of training, cos she didnt give me a chance. ugh i cant wait til i get to keep the tips that im technically earning. as soon as i get used to the computer i'll be totally set ^_^
          Okay, so, whining about diner, check... oh, at the store... she's crazy, i tell you, crazy! she couldnt stay still for more than 5 seconds on saturday, so we hardly got anything done, she couldnt concentrate and let me be or get organized or ANYTHING. she's making me nuts! i guess it never bothered me before, since i didnt have another job where people were normal and sne and i got anything done. i guess im just tired of being there EVERY other day, for eight hours, and not getting anywhere. and there's just so much SHIT. she wants to organize, and move stuff, and order MORE stuff, and we dont even have anywhere to put at least 80 percent of the crap we already have. we're never gonna get rid of it all. when they eventually either have to get rid of the store, or heaven forbid, someone dies, we're gonna be stuck with a billion square feet of junk that we wont know what to do with it. fuckin ridiculous.
         Some dude just totally won phillies tickets for the world series by making a total stab in the dark as to what section, row, and seats they had hidden tickets in. heck yeah! Leanne at the diner would be totally jealous.
          Oh hey, mr. Spider. For some reason there are like 520320 spiders that are hanging out in my house. I guess cos its cold. i wouldnt want to be stuck outdoors 24/7 in theis weather, either, especially if i was that tiny. They;ve been congregating in my room, having sevcret spy meetings, talking about the crickets behind their backs... oh yeah, you didnt think they had all that much of a grudge, but all that noise at night... they've had enough. ooh, i was finally assigned a counselor or advisor or whatever the hell they call them there, so im gonna go interrogate.. i mean... meet with her.. about the nursing program oday during my break. it'simpossible to get answers about specific programs around there. lemmee tell you this : if you were ever thinking about doing county, and decided against it, you got it RIGHT. i dont care if its cheaper, its impossible to get in touch with anyone, it's all sooo disorganized, its ridiculous. 
          I'm getting so much better at typing on here!
          See you in our meeting tonight sali, and to anybody else..... peace!
<3 Me

          because i'm looking forward to the future. Hopefully
          So i've been bothering my parents since 6th grade now, so for .... 7 years, to get another computer put in the house. my mom, sister and i have been sharing one computer (a slow one at that) since my dad put one together so he would have his own. (and his own tv, and office, and dvd player... the list goes on and on). So, i've finally convinced them that since i'm not only in college but also not allowed downstairs after 9 (which, when the computer is downstairs, and both tina and i have homework, and my mother is working on the computer is a majot problem, duh), i should have a laptop. I was hoping to drag my dad out to buy it for me (i've already reviewed, searched, and picked one out from circuit city, but unfortunately cant order it online since it's only available in the store. poo), but since my dad "hasn't had the best day", we're going out tomorrow night. i insist. really. 
          SOOOO from then on, i will be making these happy, fun posts from my cozy, warmy, toasty bed, or the comfort of my own desk chair. YAY! 
          in other news, it is cold as balls today. and i'm craving boysex. ever noticed that you have awesome sex dreams when its the most impossible to have awesome sex? yeah... maybe thats just me.
          oh, and taylor rental changed their signs today! old posts were: "If you forget the pasta, you're doomed to reheat it" "If we all stop voting, will they all just go away?" "2000 pounds of chinese soup = WON TON" new ones to be posted tomorrow or sunday, oh wait, no monday. because i noticed them and read them today, then forgot what they said, and will not (unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how i think about it) be passing them again until monday, seeing as i will not have school until then and don't plan on driving out to mt. laurel for anything between now and then, unless i need some gelato....
         New idea for fashion people... make something that wont look good on a 110 lb girl but make anyone who doesnt have the physique of a 10 year old look like a hooker. or an overstuffed sausage, regardless of the letters printed on the size label (they actually just get longer, instead of wider. are we kidding here?! what if you have breasts, for god;s sake! let juniors be for teenagers, and girls' be for girls, and never the tween shall meet, since the ten year olds dont need to be dressing like 16 year olds, they already have enough creepy guys in the world for looking at kiddie porn, k thanks). and yeah. done now.
         peace + <3

          Got a phone call from the boy at 8 am this morning. What was he doing being concious so early, you ask? Apparently, tossing his cookies. (Or chicken fingers, or hamburger. I don't know what he had for dinner yesterday, but I'm sure it's not pretty either way.) This does not bode well. But maybe this is the thrid bad thing in our web of three bad things? Mayhap. I'm really worried about him. He doesn't get sick ever ever. But I'm also scared (just a tad) that whatever mega-virus has conked him on his ass (or stomach, more like) didn't jump all overme while he was home this past weekend. That would make the two jobs and school thing a bit more complicated, or impossible. Oh, doom. 
          Yesterday was the most totally draining day EVER. Really. I don't think I've ever realized jsut how much effort it takes to be there for friends sometimes. Even when it's something you want to do. I was ready to fall over in a slumbering lump by 230, and that was just a morning of being supportive in my own awkward and probably not-so-great way (but hopefully I at least got an "A for effort", yeah?). It makes me think that I have no idea how my friends put up with me on a regular basis, with how heavily l lean and depend on them all the time. I'm a dramaqueen, i know. I get all stressed out. I admire not only Teh SuperSali (who is indeed a true superhero) and The Boy (Who I should totally get a cape for) for putting up with me, but for having the sheer energy to help me out that often. Maybe they've been exposed to Kryptonite somwhere along the way... It would also explain, possibly, their affinities (shared, of course) for comic books and videogames... hmmm....
           Anyways, I'm just glad tht yesterday finally ended. Now I have to talk to my boss at one job about getting a day off so that I can have a good amout of hours at the other job and not piss off my manager. Oh, and talk to mommy and daddy Dawson about keeping a kitten with destructive tendencies at their house until I'm able to afford an apartment, and eventually let my parents know that (and maybe why, I haven't decided yet) I won't be continuing to live with them indefinitely. (Indeed, they are driving me truly insane.)
          I'm really liking my job at the diner. Well, training for my job, anyway. It's the first job I've had (or trained for. I'm not technically getting paid or anything yet. Grar.) that stimulates my brain. Doing inventory and working behind a cash register gets really, really dull,e ven when the people are really interesting. I see the same three or four people, depending on the day, every single day that I'm not in classes (which wouldn't be so bad if they were mind-stimulating, but this is college, so that's just a dream...) which, no matter how cool and interesting those people may be, is making me stir crazy. Makes me stir crazy. and makes me claustrophobic. Therefore: new job. Cool people. Crazy customers who come in and play backgammon for three hours at a time. Weird coworkers who don't feel heat anymore (ahh, Mexican cooks) and others that are just plain obnoxious. I'm liking it. Ijust hope I can eventually figure out all the right questions that coordinate with the right pages on the menu (and of course, make friends with the soup, which incidentally is the only thing I'm not getting along with there). 
          Also, in my english class (and all my classes within the past two days) we filled out teacher evaluations. Everyone was saying that since she didn't show up to class on Monday, when we were supposed to be writing a rough draft, we should have until next Monday to write our papers. I seem to be the only one who thinks that a death in her family was a reason to skip class (or as others were putting it, "just completely not show up and leave us friggin sitting here for twenty minutes. she should ahve called or something, what the hell, etc. etc.), and also think that pushing the due date for the assignment back one day is enough. Hell, it should have still been due today, anyways. We had an hour that she didn't show for class, true, but i would bet a lot of the money I don't have much of that most of the people who left the classroom went home, or to the student lounge, instead of working on their rough draft for today. Oh well. People are stupid, what can i do about it?
          Peace ^_^

          Casey shall be home in two hours and some odd minutes, Which means that i am currently very, very impatient. since i am also in my computer classroom, this means that i must inevitably be writing to someone, somewhere, with no particular goal to my writing in mind. therefore:
 

hello, world!
love,
 
me.

          I'm having one of those days. You know, the ones where you wish you had a big-ass fast forward button for your life?
          I would love to be able to skip this whole lonely, guilty, collegey, live at home part of life, where I feel not too  useful and like I'm taking up space, and get to the part where I have a good job as a nurse, and I'm married and a mommy. I never wanted this whole college thing, not really. At least not this way. Even if I was just out of the house, sure. But college doesn't feel like College. It's not at all like i thought it would be. It feels like I'm in a bigger version of High School that takes longer to drive to, and with new people I've never met before. But I don't have any interest in meeting them, or knowing them. I want my own, old friends and life, and it's all been pried away, mostly to New York. 
          Not to make this seem like my old journal, but it's not as if my parents are helping out. If they treated me like an adult, or like i had some semblance of responsibility, then maybe it would make me want to experience things, or feel like maybe i wanted to participate emotionally in the college thing. But it just feels like everything i do, i'm doing to get them to shut the hell up about the whole thing. They don't think i can do anything, and what i do i'm apparently not getting right. I'm not old enough, not smart enough, not quick enough, not anything enough when they want me to be. They don't think i can make any of the right decisions for myself. Honestly.. input here? Am i really that deluded that i don't realize how stupid i'm being? Are they right, or just convinced that they are? 
          All i know is that i really, really want Friday to be here so that i don't have to think about any of this for awhile. I want to hang out with Casey and just forget. Hence the longing for the fast forward button... and maybe a pause for the good moments? If anyone could fashion me a nice mechanism like those, it'd be great. I'll love you forever and ever and everererererer. Yeah.
                                                     Peace, peoples &hearts;